I laugh about everything for fear of crying.

So, yesterday, all the fire alarms in the Baltimore Convention Center went off about 3pm.  We had to evacuate the entire exhibit hall.  There were fire trucks and sirens and general mayhem, as we were all trying to stay as far away from the building as possible while still staying under the dock overhang, as it was pouring.  Fun times.

I got off about 9, and Ross (Evan’s oldest brother) picked me up to show me the town.  I had a ball.  We went to The Owl Bar for dinner, then had a couple of cocktails at a bar called "Grand Central," where we heard an unfortunate karaoke rendition of "If Ever I Saw Your Face."  THEN, a drag queen said "honey, you have a nice @$$," so I, ever humble, said "thanks!"  [S]he said "Not you, b*tch! I was talking to him!"  Talk about an ego blow!

We stayed out late talking and catching up, and I got back to my hotel around 2am.  I FORGOT to set my alarm, and by some miracle, happened to wake up at 7:10.  I was supposed to be here at 7, so I jumped up, showered, dressed, and was out the door in 20 minutes (record time, although my hair has definitely looked better).  Thus starting my entire day in a frenzy. 

My quick lunch break is over, so I’d better get back to my business.  Lots to do.  Yankees/Orioles tonight!!

OK, so I’m in Baltimore.  I slept in late this morning, had my coffee by myself (one of life’s great pleasures, IMHO) made my mom lunch (homemade gazpacho, chicken with lime and paprika, and black beans), got a shelf out of my storage unit, alphabetized my DVDs, sat on the porch with my grandfather for a bit, meandered toward the airport…

And then all hell broke loose.  The Columbus airport was crazy crowded- I stood in line for about 30 minutes just to check my bag - outside, in 95-degree weather - then at least that long to get through security.  What were all those people doing in COLUMBUS?  *scratches head*  Anyway, I had a middle seat for a 29 minute flight to Cincinnati- no big deal, right?  Except that the lady to my right (the aisle) was so fat that we couldn’t even put down the arm rest.  I was practically sitting in the window girl’s lap.  But again, only 29 minutes.

Cincinnati proved to be a large, international airport, so it wasn’t a huge deal that I laid over there for an hour and a half.  I went to Borders, caught up with T, and bought a birthday card.  Then an hour flight to Baltimore, not too shabby, other than my neighbor’s breath, but by turning to the window, I caught a great sunset.  I landed at 10 to 9pm… and was hoping to make it to the hotel in time to see last week’s Six Feet Under at 10 (my parents don’t have HBO).  But first, I had to deal with Delta’s Baggage Claim Specialists.  Because see, they lost my luggage.

So yeah.  I’m in Baltimore, wearing ragged (literally, RAGGED, with flower-power iron-on patches on them, like I’m 10, and it’s 1980) jeans, and a rock star tee shirt.  I have to be AT work in about 6 hours.  My day will be no less than 14 hours long.  I’ve never met any of the people I’m working with, and tomorrow is an actual open exhibitor day, not just move-in.  No makeup, no hair stuff, just the bag of single-use toiletries that Delta gave me as a "sorry we suck."  I can’t wait to try and be professional in a rock star tee shirt.

Lemonade, baby!!  Could be worse, I could be wearing something really inappropriate, right?  My single-use bag is L’Occitane, I have Yankee tickets on Wednesday night, this show is the shortest I’ve done in MONTHS, and I get to spend my friend Justin’s birthday with him on Friday night.  I’m whistling "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life."

Who thinks I’m going overboard with the linking? 

Hugs and martinis and sweet, clean clothes, J.

This morning I am cleaning out my files, and shredding things that need to be shredded (ie: old bank statements, closed credit card statements, pay stubs from Glorieta, lol).  The last 10 years of my life, ripped into pieces and thrown away.  Simultaneously cleansing and shocking. 

I am struggling to make peace with this "simple life" I have chosen… where I go to bed before midnight, water the yard each evening, and use "sitting on the porch" as a verb.  I gave myself 6 months but I’m not sure I’ll last that long.  I really, really want to be the kind of person who "makes lemonade," but I honestly don’t think that any part of this situation makes me HAPPY… and beyond all things, I despise being ambivalent. 

The past couple of days, I have been ruminating over the concept of trust.  When you’re in a relationship with a person- family, friend, lover, these relationships should be, however cliche, built on trust.  On the giving end, when does telling a white lie ("Sure, I’m happy to babysit!") or embellishing/editing a comment to spare the feelings of a friend or get the reaction you want become part of a distrustful nature?  If you suspect being on the receiving end, how long do you give someone you trust the benefit of the doubt?

I don’t have answers to these questions and I’m not sure I’d like the answers if I found them.  It’s just what’s on my mind this morning.

Addendum: I think the important part of the "making lemonade" idea, is the MAKING part.  Lemonade is not going to appear in front of me.  I have to work for it. 

Now, one would not normally hear me say nice things about the state of Florida.  I think it’s dirty, moist, cheap, and entirely populated by strip malls.  However, I must commend the Hollywood International Airport in Ft. Lauderdale for having free wi-fi available in all terminals.  Not only does it make the inevitable waiting more tolerable, but it also makes the terminal a lot quieter, as most people are on their laptops.

It almost keeps my mind off the wall of nasty cologne that keeps ramming me from the guy on my right, but not quite.

Onto the parents’ for 4 days.  Then to the booming metropolis of Baltimore, but at least the client is taking me to a Yankees game.

I called Scottie-San the other night to remind him about the movie quote special, and when he picked up the phone he sang to me "Da DA da-da-da-da… MANAMANA! Da DA da-da-da-da… MANAMANA!"  Which led me to the following…

and now I have to board.  Hugs and puppies!

You are Kermit the Frog.

You are reliable, responsible, and caring.  And you have a habit of waving your arms about maniacally.

FAVORITE EXPRESSIONS:
"Hi ho!" "Yaaay!" and Sheesh!"

FAVORITE MOVIE:
"How Green Was My Mother"

LAST BOOK READ:
"Surfin’ the Webfoot: A Frog’s Guide to the Internet"

HOBBIES:
Sitting in the swamp playing banjo.

QUOTE:
"Hmm, my banjo is wet."

Which Muppet are you??

Back by popular demand, the top 5 series.  If you’d like to check out my previous Top 5 Lists, please click here.

Top 5 Things I Learned in South Florida

5. If you absolutely, positively, MUST be in South Florida in the hottest, most humid time of the year, probably your best bet is to *not* be in an un-air conditioned warehouse for 15 hours a day, especially when they break out the forklifts.

4. Florida is almost entirely populated with alligators and rednecks. And the occasional oldster. Oh, and 10 million tourists.

3. What Not to Wear should host a special series dealing with the industry of nurse practicioners.

2. Greek people get offended when you ask if a "Greek coffee" is the same thing as a "Turkish coffee." Apparently there was once some bad blood?

1. Nothing ends happy hour faster than the sight of a mullet hitting on a over-40, over-bleached, over-siliconed, over-acryliced, over-tanned saddy, unless it’s the massive cockroach that’s running across YOUR TABLE.

I worked 15 hours today, 7am to 10pm, and going back at 7am tomorrow.  *siiiigh*  This show has had the WORST hours and it’s not even busy, which makes it longer.  It’s deeeeefinitely not a 2-person show, but at least me and my co-worker Brian are having fun.  One of my jobs was to find something entertaining for him every two hours and we pulled out the weight watchers recipe cards from the 70’s.  Remember those??  Oh my, I forgot exactly how funny those were.  Three words: FLUFFY MACKEREL PUDDING.  Embrace mackereality.  Mackerelease yourself.  I almost peed my pants.

I got home to catch the last 45 minutes of AFI’s Top 100 Movie Quotes of All Time, just in time to catch the Top 10.  You know how much I love lists!!  I was IM-ing with your favorite movie buff and mine, Jason Thomas, who was guessing each one as soon as they flashed up the first scene from the movie, which was simultaneously impressive and annoying.  So without further ado…

Top 10 Movie Quotes of All Time, as reported by the American Film Institute:

#10- "You talkin’ to me?" ~Taxi Driver

#9- "Fasten your seatbelts; it’s going to be a bumpy night." ~All About Eve

#8- "May the Force be with you." ~Star Wars

#7- "Alright, Mr. Deville, I’m ready for my close-up."  ~Sunset Boulevard

#6- "Go ahead, make my day."  ~Dirty Harry

#5- "Here’s looking at you, kid."  ~Casablanca

#4- "Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore."  ~The Wizard of Oz

#3- "I coulda been a contender."  ~On the Waterfront

#2- "I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse."  ~The Godfather

#1- "Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn."  ~Gone with the Wind

I think the full special is on tape at home; hopefully I’ll get to watch it before I leave for Baltimore on Sunday.

Hi gang.  I’ve decided to start a Friendster blog.  I wasn’t feeling the love from Diaryland anymore.  And ps> I can’t figure out yet how to get that picture of me playing the Jew’s Harp off the side.  Doh.

I’m sitting in South Florida listening to the daily thunderstorm.  It’s keeping me from the ocean, but I’ve always loved the sound of rain.  I was craving some time to myself, so I’m holed up in my hotel room with the balcony door open, listening to it storm.  I honestly haven’t had any detox time in about a month.  My nerves are raw; I feel exposed and bare, like I haven’t any padding around my soul.   I watched it lightning over the ocean a couple of nights ago.  I could stare at the ocean for hours.  I just get lost in it.  Being near the ocean makes me feel so… SMALL.  I felt as though I could weep enough to double the sea, and it would still be about a teaspoon.

A friend just gave me a book to read called "Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality."  The opening paragraph practically blew me away:

"I once listened to an Indian on television say that God was in the wind and the water, and I wondered at how beautiful that was because it meant that you could swim in Him and have Him brush against your face. I am early in my story, but I believe I will stretch out into eternity, and in heaven I will reflect upon these early days, these days when it seemed God was down a dirt road, walking toward me. Years ago He was a swinging speck in the distance; now He is close enough I can hear His singing. Soon I will see the lines on His face."

I’ve been alone in a crowd for weeks.  You can always get a handle on who you really are when all you do is meet new people.  I am starting to understand how incredibly selfish I am.  I spend all of my days completely wrapped up in what I want to do with my life, how something someone said made me feel, where I should move.  It pains me to realize how I can’t seem to make the right decision for fear of it being the wrong one, when what I should be doing is focusing on is something else entirely.  I should listen more than I speak; I should feel more than I hurt.  My shallowness astounds me. 

It’s so easy to slide around on your surface in a job like this- introductions are frequent, close friends are few, and solid conversation with someone who loves you is practically non-existant.  Friends, true friends, hold up a mirror to your soul and remind you who you really are.  When you’re with your friends, you should be the best version of yourself and the worst version of yourself all at the same time.